


mismatched

by hauyne



Category: World Trigger (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Extreme Social Incompetence, M/M, Rare Pair, idiots to lovers, rip karasuma's dignity, yuiga didn't have any to start with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29239716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauyne/pseuds/hauyne
Summary: For reasons unclear to both of them, Karasuma and Yuiga start hanging out. It's an unmigitated disaster, of course.
Relationships: Karasuma Kyousuke/Yuiga Takeru
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Izumi looks up from his sandwich to see Yuiga with his arms crossed, pushing himself so far back that it looks like he’s trying to become one with the upholstery. On the other side of the cafeteria table Karasuma is unwrapping a protein bar with a studiously bland expression. It’s not the lunch company Izumi would have chosen.

In the first place, Izumi doesn’t actually like Yuiga. He doesn’t hang out with him more than he has to outside of Tachikawa Unit business. Izumi enjoys Karasuma’s company, but he is a member of Tamakoma branch, and the rest of his free time is eaten up by approximately thousand part-time jobs. So this combination is already unlikely, without taking into account that they don’t mix well. 

“—the cafeteria in Tamakoma is guarded by Trion soldiers, so if you can’t defeat them, you don’t get to eat”, Karasuma is saying, which Izumi knows for a fact is a lie. Tamakoma doesn’t even have a cafeteria. Yuiga is staring at Karasuma suspiciously, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. It's his standard expression around Karasuma.

It’s one more of Karasuma and Yuiga’s differences. Karasuma shows nothing on his face, while Yuiga is completely transparent. Izumi knows to expect grumbling and insults from Yuiga whenever the topic of Karasuma comes up; but when in the same room Yuiga is so wary you’d think Karasuma had attacked him. He still doesn’t try to hide his dislike, but it’s clear that Yuiga is intimidated by him. To be fair, he probably should be. Not that Karasuma is particularly intimidating, but he is strong, and Yuiga is . . . Yuiga.

It’s a little amusing to watch. 

“Man, he sure doesn’t like you,” Izumi says to Karasuma afterward. They headed for the exit, while Yuiga claimed to have something to do in Tachikawa Unit’s operation room. It was probably a lie.

“Isn’t that natural?”, is all Karasuma says, and Izumi has to concede the point. 

“Well, you’re doing your part, too,” he points out. Karasuma looks off to the side for a few seconds at the spectacularly unexciting wall they’re passing. Izumi waits him out.

“It’s kind of fun”, Karasuma admits.

“Fun? Kyousuke, did your personality get twisted over at Tamakoma?”

“My personality is the same as always.”

Izumi drops the subject, and the conversation moves in to school and work.

It’s Karasuma’s turn to prepare dinner for Tamakoma. He’s used to cooking, and his hands chop the vegetables on autopilot. Instead he finds his thoughts returning to the conversation from earlier.

What he said to Izumi is just the honest truth. It’s not so very different from teasing Konami. If he didn’t do anything similar before coming to Tamakoma, it’s only because there hadn’t been anyone he liked to tease then.

The thought settles uncomfortably in his mind. It’s different. Those two people are really different. Konami is one of the strongest people he knows, while Yuiga is weak. And the sentence “Karasuma likes to tease Konami” could be shortened by two words and still be true. It’s not an equation where Yuiga has any place.

At the very least Karasuma doesn’t find him annoying the way Izumi does, even if he can understand the feeling.

On the flipside, he is probably the person that Yuiga hates the most. Other people see him switching between hostility and friendliness at the drop of a hat, but his attitude towards Karasuma is never-changing. 

It is, as he had said, only natural, considering their respective places in Tachikawa Unit’s history.

All of that is fine, if not optimal, but it doesn’t explain what he does the next time they meet. It’s a gathering of Border members at the Okonomiyaki shop owned by Kageura’s family. Kageura himself is working, scowling at them all, but Inukai in particular. They are spread out over a few tables, and for reasons that he chooses not to examine Karasuma sits down next to Yuiga. Yuiga returns his greeting, but after that he only acknowledges Karasuma’s presence by sending frequent wary looks in his direction. Karasuma sits quiet, listening to the others talking instead of returning them, and eventually Yuiga stops being so aware of him.

He has no excuse for what he does after that. 

There are a few people too many around the table, which means there is little space to either person on his sides. This event is unofficial, so everyone is in their own clothes rather than their uniforms. He’s sitting close enough to see that Yuiga’s clothes are made of high-quality fabrics, but that’s not surprising. The surprising part is that they’re rather subdued—no, probably the word is classy.

By now Yuiga is listening rather intently to something Arashiyama is saying, so he doesn’t see him look. Maybe that’s what does it. Yuiga is always jumpy in his presence.

So he leans to his right and blows in his ear. Yuiga jumps, with a sound that would have been a screech if it didn’t get caught in his throat. Everyone turns to look, but Karasuma has too much practice in keeping a straight face to have any trouble now. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, affecting some slight surprise at Yuiga’s behavior. Yuiga sputters an unintelligible answer, but while the words are hard to make out, the outrage is not. The weight of the others’ attention quiets Yuiga faster than usual, but he spends the rest of the meal glaring at him. Karasuma ignores it, or pretends to. 

Izumi comes up to him when the dinner is wrapping up and everyone is starting to go home. “What was that?” are the first words out of his mouth. 

“What was what?” Karasuma asks, but Izumi just pulls a face and points at Yuiga. Not good. He hadn’t thought anyone had been paying attention.

“It wasn’t anything in particular,” he says, but Izumi doesn’t buy it. 

“Dude, I get finding him annoying, but that’s just weird.” When he doesn’t answer Izumi just waves a dismissive hand. “Whatever.”

That was already enough consequences as far as Karasuma was concerned, but of course Yuiga himself also had something to say about it. 

He corners him as soon as Izumi is out of sight, with his pointer finger raised, and his eyebrows lowered. Apparently he rediscovered his outrage as soon as he was without an audience. “Your unprofessional behavior is unacceptable! I will not stand for any further malicious attacks on my person”.

Karasuma doesn’t try to deny it, partly because he doesn’t dislike listening to Yuiga’s ranting—his weirdly formal way of speaking clashes with his affected way of talking, and the contrast is amusing. It’s also partly because he doesn’t have any particular good excuse, although he could make one up, he supposes.

It’s not a problem that Yuiga doesn’t like him, and he’s fine with his family’s monetary situation—he wishes it was better, but he can deal with it. It only stings a little when Yuiga’s rant gets to “—your jealousy of my wealth is understandable for someone of your meagre means, but it in no way excuses your actions—”, and continues in a similar vein.

There are several things he could answer with: that Yuiga belongs to a rich family simply by luck, that Karasuma became A rank by achievements rather than buying himself into it, that his family has enough to get by and he wouldn’t exchange them for the world. He doesn’t actually say any of that. What he says is: “That might be it.” 

Yuiga stops dead in his tracks. Karasuma pushes onward. “Well, I don’t know what it’s like, being rich. But it’s the more, the better, when it comes to money, right?”

“Yes, of course,” Yuiga says, sounding uncertain. He hesitates for a few seconds, his hostility melting away. “Since I’m very generous, I suppose I could deign to show you.”

Karasuma blinks. It’s not often Yuiga catches him off guard. “Show?”, he asks. Apparently Yuiga takes that’s as agreement, because he only nods to himself, and says “It’s decided”. He never explains what’s been decided.

Karasuma finds out a few days later. His shift at the supermarket is reaching its end, when Yuiga comes in. “It’s time!”, he announces.

Karasuma continues to place bags of flour on a shelf. “My shift ends in fifteen minutes”, he says. For him it’s only time for work. The more pressing question is how Yuiga knew how to find him there, but he doesn’t want to admit to Yuiga that he’s confused, so he just carries on like before Yuiga arrived.

“Can’t you leave early?” Yuiga asks, obviously impatient.

Karasuma is about to explain that there’s no way he can do that, but stiffens when he sees the manager just across the aisle. He braces himself for the sight of Yuiga being loudly dismissive of his boss to his face.

That’s not what happens.

“Oh, your friend is waiting for you? You can go as soon as your finished with that.”

Karasuma is about to tell him that it’s fine, but Yuiga is, if not faster, then louder.

“Thank you for the indulgence! It’s much appreciated!” It’s too much, but the manager just laughs. “Have fun, boys”, he says, and claps Karasuma’s shoulder.

There is a black and shiny car, that looks like it badly wants to be a limo, parked outside. Karasuma follows Yuiga into the backseat. He’s starting to wonder if he’s hallucinating, or maybe he’s being kidnapped. Maybe Yuiga snapped and decided on revenge. Well, he doesn’t actually think that, but it’s reassuring that he has his trigger with him, anyway. Bailout is an option.

The car starts rolling, smoothly and quietly. Karasuma finally gives in to his curiosity. “Where are we going?” 

Yuiga opens his mouth. Maybe what comes out is meant to be an answer, but to Karasuma it sounds like gibberish. 

“What?” he asks, flatly. 

Yuiga repeats what he just said, and it makes just as little sense. Is Yuiga having a stroke? Is Karasuma having a stroke? Karasuma throws a look at the driver, but he’s just looking at the road, making no sign of listening to them.

Maybe Yuiga’s taking pity on him, but he turns to Karasuma and continues talking. “First we’re going home. It’s a high class establishment. I’m far too kind to let you embarrass yourself by showing up dressed like that.”

If Karasuma were any less dumbfounded he’d probably be offended about now. He goes along with it, without really knowing why. But it is a new experience, and Yuiga seems strangely excited about it, even as he is as condescending as usual. 

The car stops in front of a building that’s more mansion than house. It’s a western style building, with a well-tended garden, though not by anyone from the family living here, Karasuma would guess. He follows Yuiga through the oversized doors, and then they just keep walking. Karasuma isn’t sure if the reason it takes such a long time to reach their destination is because Yuiga is giving him a tour or because the way is just that far, since every room is just so big.

The room they reach would be a walk-in-closet if it wasn’t way too big to be called that. Karasuma is hit by a wave of unreality again when Yuiga gestures to a set of clothes on a hanger, and says, “try those on.”

He searches for any sign that Yuiga is joking, even though that has never happened before. He finds none. Of Yuiga’s many faults, his self-seriousness may be the most prominent. And maybe one of Karasuma’s is that he doesn’t take things seriously enough, but he obeys. In his defense he hesitates, but not for very long.

There is no changing room. Rather, the whole room is the changing room. Yuiga is going through a whole rack of clothes, sometimes lifting a hanger and inspecting the clothes closely. Well, they’re both guys. It’s not any weirder than at PE. Less, since there’s no underwear in the pile to change into. Which, of course there isn’t, but it’s a bit too easy to imagine Yuiga going “For a high-class outfit every part of it needs to be top-notch! Even the parts no one will see!”, as he hands him a pair of silk boxers, or something. 

The clothes are nice. More than nice, actually, even if the pant legs are a touch too short. Still, the fabric of the shirt feels good against his skin, and the colors complement his coloring well. 

Apparently Yuiga is less into it. Shaking his head, he mutters something starting with, “No, no, that won’t do at all…”, and Karasuma gets a new pile.

A few piles later Karasuma is getting pretty sick of the routine, but finally, when he turns around for the fourth inspection Yuiga’s eyes light up. “Perfect!”

It’s the first time Yuiga has said anything nice to him. Karasuma doesn’t care about Yuiga’s insults, but the sudden turnaround makes him feel off-kilter. Don’t get used to it, he tells himself.

“Now, we can finally go!”, Yuiga announces, and Karasuma doesn’t even point out that Yuiga was the one who wouldn’t let them leave.

The first thing Karasuma thinks as they enter the restaurant is, “I shouldn’t be here.” The second is, “I don’t want to be here.” Yuiga just strides in, as if it’s inconceivable that he wouldn’t be welcome.

This isn’t a place where two high-schoolers go to eat dinner together; Karasuma expects to be shown the door, no matter how nicely they are dressed. However, the waiter shows them to a table for two instead.

Notes of classical music is floating through the air; a pianist is playing in a far corner. Chandeliers of crystal and gold are hanging from the ceiling far above them. People are drinking wine and champagne, and the women are wearing expensive dresses. He’s mostly grateful when Yuiga says, ”I expect you don’t have a clue about what’s good in a place such as this, so I’ll take the liberty to order for both of us”, because, honestly? He’s right. Even if he could stand to look less smug about it.

The food is strange. Not bad, exactly, but the flavors are definitely unusual. He says as much to Yuiga, who complains about his terrible taste for a long while afterward. There are three courses, but as every plate set in front of them has little food on it there’s no risk of him getting full. He’s aware that’s how it is in places like this, but it still strikes him as bizarre and off-putting.

When they leave it’s already dark outside, with only a sliver of the moon backed up by a handful of stars. The few people passing by don’t look at them. Karasuma breathes a quiet sigh of relief in the cool outside air.

“What did you think?” Yuiga asks, excitement and arrogance radiating from him. “Was it too outside your experiences to take in for a pauper like you?” 

“It was fine,” Karasuma says. It’s the truth, surprisingly. It’s not like he’ll dream of going back, especially as what made most of the experience was seeing Yuiga’s behavior somewhere he was the expert. But even if he’s willing to be a bit more honest, he will never admit the last part.

“Fine? Ugh! Even from someone as uncultured as you—” Yuiga shakes his head, for once too upset for words. 

Karasuma takes him to a ramen stand to pay him back. It’s the only thing he has money enough for, but he figures that’s the point. If the counter is worn of all the guests over the years, and the curtains are looking a bit threadbare, then that only makes the place feel more welcoming. The owner, a stout older man, greets them brightly. 

Yuiga looks around at the very ordinary place like he’s never seen anything like it before. Obviously he was at Kageura’s place before, but that was a family restaurant. This is quite a different experience, so maybe that’s true.

“We’ll take two specials, please”, says Karasuma. The special is an extra-large bowl, filled to the brim with toppings, some of which some people would claim don’t even belong on ramen. Karasuma chose it for two reasons; 1, it’s supposed to be an experience, so why not spice it up a bit, and 2, to show that normal people buy a meal to get more than a taste-test that leaves them as hungry as they were before. Yuiga’s eyes go round when the bowl is placed before him, so mission accomplished.

The special is a bit unusual, but not nearly as strange as anything they ate in the French restaurant. Yuiga burns his mouth, and refuses to listen when Karasuma tells him to slurp the soup. “It’s unrefined!” The way he talks makes a guest sitting down on the other side of the cart glare at him (he doesn’t notice), but afterwards he declares the food, “not bad”. 

It counts as a success.

They get up together when they’re done, but after a few steps Yuiga comes to a stop. When he starts to talk he sounds uncharacteristically uncertain. “This was, uh … we could, I guess…” Yuiga trails off. 

Karasuma waits. Yuiga takes a breath, and when he tries again, he doesn’t hesitate. “You have seen nothing of what real high class is!”

“Okay,” Karasuma says.

“And since I don’t have much experience with things like this I wouldn’t mind trying it again. Well! The point is, we should try it again. As a . . . cultural exchange!”

“Okay,” Karasuma says again. “Then again, I work a lot, so I don’t have much free time. I’ll send you the times when I’m available.”

He can’t put in words why he goes along with it. Why would he spend his limited time with Yuiga of all people? On some level he finds the idea interesting, he supposes, though he doesn’t really have any great interest in the habits of rich people.

Still, when Yuiga next sends him an invite to an opening of an art exhibit of some apparently famous artist he accepts. Even if the invite is less than an invitation than an announcement that they're going.

Apparently his normal clothes aren’t up to snuff this time either, but at least this time he can just put on the same outfit as last time, without trying anything else.

No one objects when Yuiga takes a glass of champagne each for them. Karasuma assumes this means it’s non-alcoholic, but the first sip sets him straight. He swallows a cough, but Yuiga is too caught up in introducing the place to notice, fortunately.

Many of the present people seem to know Yuiga, or at least his parents. Yuiga sends expectant looks at him when someone walks up to them, but it’s never someone he can recognize, even if some of the names Yuiga hisses to him are vaguely familiar. Some of them asks who Yuiga’s friend is, but Yuiga always corrects it to coworker. The interest goes from polite to real when they understand he means in Border. To Karasuma Tamakoma is like a second family and many in HQ are friends or friends of friends, but to outsiders Border as a whole is either a savior or a mystery. Yuiga is only too happy to soak up the interest, so Karasuma fakes a deep interest in the art to escape. It’s somehow gratifying that Yuiga chooses to follow him.

A few days later Izumi sends him a message wondering why he’s spending so much time with Yuiga. Karasuma deflects. He doesn’t even have a good answer for himself. It doesn't matter as long as the cultural exchange, as Yuiga calls it, continues to be interesting.

On Karasuma’s next turn he takes Yuiga to an arcade. If Yuiga was apprehensive about the ramen place he seems a lot more excited about the arcade. Even with his longer legs Karasuma has to lengthen his stride to match Yuiga's pace, all the while he's chattering about the people they met at the art gallery and Tachikawa Unit's recent successes -- not at all due to Yuiga, to be sure, not that you can tell by listening to him. 

The arcade is only half full, probably because it's early in the day. He had to fit their excursion before some business in Tamakoma in the afternoon. 

Karasuma chooses a retro zombie survival game, since it's what he remembers playing last time he was here. The zombies' grasping hands drag him to the GAME OVER screen in short order.

Games were never his forte. 

Yuiga eagerly grabs the controller when he offers it. It doesn't take him long to pass the place where Karasuma just met his demise. Kunichika’s influence, no doubt. 

At first Karasuma watches the small, pixelated shapes moving across the screen, the rising numbers of the high score; there’s something a little hypnotic about it. Yet his attention wanders.

Yuiga is an animated person, and in the during the game he goes through a keleidoscope of emotion. The triumphant smile when he defeats a boss, hands grasping the air in dismay after losing a life, and the narrow lips and deep ridge between his eyebrows when he navigates a particularly hard stretch.

“Did you see that?”

Yuiga turns to him. Behind him his avatar makes a few victory jumps under the text LEVEL CLEARED.

Karsuma did not see that. Worse, he’s not prepared to suddenly meet Yuiga’s eyes after watching him unobserved so long. Yuiga’s grin turns into an uncertain frown as they look at each other, which means that he’s not handling it well. He should be able to move any awkwardness aside before Yuiga can catch onto it. He isn’t quite sure why he hasn’t.

“Well done,” he says without inflection. It’s the safest card to play. “You’re rather good at this.”

Yuiga lights up again, as predictable as the sun. “Of course, this is only to be expected of someone of my capabilities—“ and on he goes. Karasuma breathes a quiet sigh of relief as he continues to the next level, but he doesn’t think about why. He really should have.

The thing is that he’s rather good at putting things he doesn’t want to dwell on out of his mind, especially if it’s something that makes him uncomfortable. He's also good at taking opportunities without hesitation; such as when fooling Konami. Without hesitation, as in without thinking about it.

Yuiga directs his full attention to the game. A strand of hair has fallen across his face, and while Yuiga raises one hand to push it back, he has to return it to the game console to dodge an enemy attack before he has managed to do so. 

Karasuma reaches out and tucks the strand of hair behind his ear. It’s as silky-smooth as it looks.

The arcade machine plays a short series of sinking tones, in a universally recognizable message: you lose.

“W-what are you doing?” 

That’s the question. He doesn’t have a good answer, doesn’t have any answer, only a shifting in his subconscious where an awareness of something is starting to form. 

“You…”, Yuiga breaks off and starts over. “Are you sabotaging me just because I’m better than you?” 

“Sorry,” he says, sincere for once. Yuiga will take it as a yes, which is the more important part.

“What a cowardly strategy”, Yuiga mutters, looking at the floor. The uncomfortable silence stretches out. Karasuma has to break it, but his head is blank. 

“Another game”, Yuiga says, almost too low for Karasuma to make it out. He clears his throat. ”We play another game. A one-on-one game. And then I’ll beat you completely.” 

Yuiga chooses a shooting game, with controllers shaped as cartoonish guns. Yuiga isn’t as good at it as the previous one, but Karasuma can’t concentrate and loses badly. At least Yuiga is grinning when they’re done. “An overwhelming victory!” Karasuma has a feeling that he’s going to hear about this for a long while. Which is fine, as long as it's only about the loss.

It’s only when he returns home that he allows himself to think about it. He looks back at his behavior, trying to see it objectively. He turns the events of the last weeks around in his mind, gently, without jumping to conclusions.

No matter what perspective he chooses he returns to the same endpoint. And he tries many times to end up at another conclusion, because the truth isn’t pleasant to face. He likes Yuiga. He like likes him. The embarrassing like.

He likes his stupid face, his terrible attitude, and his overly soft hair. He actually enjoys spending time with him, even when they do things he doesn’t have interest in, because doing them with Yuiga makes it fun. 

This is bad. 

He needs to do something. He needs to do something, but he doesn’t know what. There are no good options. Maybe he can just choose to stop? It would be the best way to handle this. Saying something would be terrible, because: A, Yuiga wouldn’t believe him, and B, Karasuma does not want him to know. It’s . . . embarrassing. It’s so, so embarrassing.

Should he cancel their arrangement? Isn’t it unfair of him to continue it under false pretenses? Then again, it’s not as if he’s going to do anything, and Yuiga is getting something out of it too. Unlike Karasuma, who’s probably never going to have to go to any art exhibits, Yuiga is definitively going to have use of their outings. If you thought of it that way it was even selfish of him to stop just because he happened to have some inconvenient feelings.

As self-serving as the reasoning is, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. If no one’s getting hurt, it can’t be that bad to be a little selfish. It’s not as if anyone’s going to be able to tell.

“Dude, why are you going out with Yuiga?”

It’s not the first thing Izumi says to him; at least he’s tactful enough to wait until Reiji has gone on ahead. Running into Izumi on an errand run should have been a pleasant surprise, but now it feels like an ambush.

“I am not,” he says, thankful for his passive face.

Izumi raises his eyebrows, impressively unimpressed. “So what’s with the restaurants and art galleries?”

“We went to them”, Karasuma admits.

“Why did you go to them?”

Karasuma shrugs. “It seemed interesting.”

“Come on, now. You can’t seriously be interested in that stuff. Like, what, eating snails and looking at boring pictures?”

“I did not eat a snail,” Karasuma says, but Izumi doesn’t listen. 

“Aren’t you super busy to start with?” At this point he’s starting to feel a prickling sensation over the back of his skull. “You can’t only be hanging out with him to make fun of him.”

He stands very still. Izumi is still concentrating more on his own reasoning than on his reactions.

“You’re more twisted than I thought.” Then he does look up. Karasuma thought he’d managed to keep his expression blank—he always does—but Izumi frowns at him. “Unless you actually like him?”

Whether or not his face is blank, his mind certainly is.

“Okay, so you have shit taste in friends, that’s fine with me.”

“Thank you.”

Izumi still has his eyes narrowed. “It’s not that embarrassing to be friends with him—okay, maybe it is…”

“You’re not being very kind yourself, Izumi-senpai.”

“Considering how unusual it is to see you embarrassed I have to take the chances I get.” Izumi smirks. “But I was surprised, seeing as he loathed you only a few weeks ago.”

At least for this part he doesn't have to lie. “I don’t think his feelings have changed much. Isn’t it just that he enjoys feeling superior to me?”

“God, are you friends or not? I don’t have any idea of how his mind works; you’re the one who’s been hanging out with him.”

“Aren’t you together at Border all the time?”

“Not all the time, and anyway, that’s not voluntarily.” Izumi pulls a face. “Damn, but you’re troublesome. Guess you two are well matched in that, at least. Don’t invite me to the wedding.”

Izumi choses that as his parting line, waving over his shoulder as he goes.

“Gay marriage isn’t legal,” Karasuma says, mostly to not let him have the last word. The important thing is that Izumi didn’t realize; if he had he’d been lying on the floor laughing for at least ten minutes. That he managed to say the things he did and still not get it only confirms how ridiculous the situation is—or for Izumi, literally unthinkable. It both is and isn’t a relief.

They exchanged numbers to be able to plan their outings, so of course Karasuma finds himself staring at his contact list at a time when their plans are set, finger hovering above Yuiga’s name.

Work is slow at the grocery, and he’s bored. There are at least half a dozen other people he could text, one of which he already has, but Reiji finished that conversation quickly. (Unsurprising. Reiji isn’t much of a texter.)

It’s not a big deal. He’s just passing time. 

Yuiga is quick to answer, which is as usual. As is his rudeness. “What do you want?” Karasuma doesn’t think he’s doing it on purpose, and anyway, when asked he enthusiastically jumps on the topic of himself. 

Yuiga’s texts are strange. They are mostly grammatically correct with punctuation, with some the odd emoji or slang thrown in that in no way matches the rest of the message. It’s kind of cute.

There’s no risk of the conversation ending quickly here; Yuiga’s answers are long even to his most trivial replies. At some point he realizes that there’s actual work to be done, and is a little unnerved by how quickly he got caught up in the texting. As the job slows down again he finds that he has five messages waiting, one from Izumi.

“do I hear wedding bells in the distance?”

“i’ll ask if you can be a bridesmaid,” he returns. He gets a satisfying stretch of emojis as an answer. 

Yuiga had told him that Tachikawa Unit was gathered, so he should have seen that one coming. What’s genuinely surprising is the both of them showing up twenty minutes later, Izumi dragging Yuiga along by an arm around his neck.

“Yo, Kyousuke!” Any greeting Yuiga might have made is muffled by his arm.

“Hello. What are you looking for?”

“You, obviously. You done soon?”

He throws a glance at the huge clock on the wall. “Twenty minutes,” he says. “It’s my turn to cook, though, so I have to be back at Tamakoma in an hour.”

“Guess we’ll be paying a visit.”

“Do as you like. I can’t guarantee you any food, though.”

It’s only then Izumi lets go of Yuiga, who stumbles a little when he’s suddenly free.

“Why would we want to visit a rival faction?” Yuiga asks, glaring and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Go home if you want,” Izumi says, uncaring.

Karasuma thinks it’d be a little more relaxing if he did. More likely than not Jin won’t be there, but Reiji will, not to mention Yuuma with his side effect. But Yuiga agrees to buy some extra groceries, and they both follow him on the road back.

Izumi and Yuiga suck equally much at cooking, and hinder more than they help. It doesn’t stop any of them from taking credit when the others start showing up. Mikumo stares hesitantly at the food when he hears of Yuiga’s involvement, which makes it worth it. 

He needn’t have worried. Tamakoma’s weirdness can absorb anyone, even someone with as bad an attitude as Yuiga. Youtarou bullies him mercilessly, of course, but that puts him basically even with Konami.

Izumi gets called away to something by Yoneya, but Yuiga stays to help with cleaning up. Consideration isn’t the first or the tenth and first trait Karasuma associates with him, but when Karasuma starts putting plates away he picks up a few and awkwardly copies him. He only complains a little–the dishwasher is too old, and too small—as he does it. When they’re done it’s only natural to head towards the door together.

It’s gotten both dark and cold outside, making their breaths steam in the air. The vicinity is pretty much abandoned, making the moon the strongest source of illumination. It’s enough to put highlights in Yuiga’s hair, and Karasuma can only shake his head at himself for noticing.

“I guess the place wasn’t bad, but it’s really time to renovate. You should ask for a higher budget, as is it’s an embarrassment for Border. To start with, the façade—“ 

The list of things to be improved is, as expected, long.

“I don’t really mind,” Karasuma says when he’s done, which offends him deeply. Naturally.

“Have my teachings done nothing at all?! Your standards are painfully low! At least as a representative of Border—“ 

Karasuma kisses him. The difference in height means he has to lean down, but at least Yuiga’s already looking up at him. As kisses go it’s nothing much, just a brief touch of lips.

Yuiga freezes in place, staring at him. Karasuma comes back to himself and freezes as well. Time slows to a crawl.

It strikes him that he has absolutely no one else to blame. That there had been several warning signs, the other times he did things to Yuiga without thinking. He could have avoided this. He should have.

“Sorry,” he starts to say, but Yuiga starts speaking at the same time.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Even in the weak light of the moon the flush of his face is obvious. Karasuma takes a step back, reaches after something to say. 

“I’m sorry,” is the best he manages. There’s a brighter shine to Yuiga’s eyes now. Is he about to cry? Could it have been that bad? Sure, Yuiga is overly emotional, but… Whatever the reason, the sight turns Karasuma’s thoughts from the “I’m an idiot”-track to the “I’m trash”-track. He’d known this wouldn’t end well, but he’d ignored that for the sake of his own satisfaction. 

It’s awful to be mean when you didn’t intend to be.

Yuiga is backing away from him. Karasuma lets him. If he doesn’t know how to fix the situation the least he can do is to not make it worse.

More than anything, that Izumi actually calls him the next day is a clear sign of how bad it is. Seeing his name on the caller ID sends a wave of trepidation through him, but he excuses himself anyway.

“What the hell did you do?” is Izumi’s opening line.

For a second Karasuma closes his eyes. Worse and worse, huh. “What did he say?” 

“Nothing intelligible. Why do you think I asked you?”

“I don’t think this concerns you, Izumi-senpai.”

“I’m the one who has to deal with him, and that’s annoying enough when he isn’t being a total wreck.” It’s a little disconcerting to realize that Izumi’s actually angry, and not only annoyed at having to deal with this.

“Look,” he says. “I didn’t mean to…”

“To what? You know, he disliked you before, but this… I don’t know.”

“I kissed him,” Karasuma says, because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Izumi sputters. “Why would you—that’s just . . . wait. Wait. As a joke?”

“It’s not really funny, is it?”

“…Holy shit. So you’re..? But why him?”

“I don’t know.” It comes out more strongly than he meant it to.

Izumi is floundering too, which doesn’t really help. “Uh, okay. I wasn’t expecting this. I still need you to fix it, though?”

“How do I do that?”

“I don’t know. Talk to him or something? Also, were you just terrible, because I don’t see why—“

Karasuma hangs up. Part of him regrets telling Izumi, but it’s not a big one. As unhelpful as he was, getting someone else’s reaction did help him get a grip on his own thoughts. 

Yuiga is unhappy. That’s the important part, the thing he needs to fix. Maybe he can’t, but he has to at least try. It’d be easier if he’d any idea what Yuiga is thinking, of course. He is upset, but what exactly was it that upset him? 

Izumi’s first reaction was to ask if it was a joke. Is that what Yuiga thought as well? Or maybe he’s just disgusted? Don’t rich, powerful families tend to be more conservative? In the first place, kissing someone out of nowhere is pretty rude, so some negative feelings are probably justified.

The only way to know is to ask him. He pretty much has no choice but to take Izumi’s advice, if it even can be called that. He calls in sick to his part-time job and heads over to Border HQ. He pauses for in front of the door to Tachikawa Unit’s room. He knows he will go through with opening it, but it he very badly wants to turn away and leave. He gives himself five seconds to steel himself before opening the door.

Yuiga recoils when he sees him. That’s about what he expected. “Hey, Kyousuke”, Izumi says, physically grabbing Yuiga to hold him in place. Yuiga sends him a look of pure betrayal that doesn’t faze him in the least. As expected Tachikawa is only amused, but he leaves along with Izumi, which is as much grace as Karasuma expects from him.

“What do you want?” Yuiga asks when they finally are alone. He crosses his arms, but he keeps throwing glances at the door like he hopes for someone to come to his rescue.

“I wanted to clear up my actions yesterday,” Karasuma says. “I shouldn’t have done that and I’m sorry.” Some emotion flickers across Yuiga’s face, but for once Karasuma can’t read it. “What I should have done was to tell you this: I like you.”

Yuiga doesn’t react, which strikes Karasuma as both anticlimactic and a little hurtful. He’s obviously tense, almost as if he’s bracing for a blow . . . or a punchline.

“I’m serious,” he says, which at least provokes a reaction.

“There’s no way you are! You lie and make fun of people all the time!”

Which isn’t exactly wrong.

“What kind of joke would this be? I’m the one revealing my feelings here.”

“You don’t? Your expression is exactly the same as usual!” 

Karasuma has to admit that he has a point (again), but he came here resigned to failure. Of course he’s bracing himself. 

Yuiga isn’t done. “You don’t like me, you think you’re better than me. Because you’re stronger than me, and Tachikawa-san and Izumi-senpai actually respect you and you think I’m spoiled because my family is rich and you have to work all the time!”

What is he supposed to say to that? He is stronger than him, and he does think he’s spoiled. He also thinks he’s cute, but there’s no way Yuiga would find that anything but condescending. Yuiga does have good traits as well—he is genuinely helpful, if often rude about it, and he’s open with his emotions in a way that Karasuma sometimes finds almost admirable. 

Considering that he came here to clear up the situation to Yuiga, it’s interesting how much of it has been Yuiga telling him true things, all of which point to one undeniable fact: This is all Karasuma’s fault, including how badly Yuiga took it. Laid out like this, it’s all too clear that he has no reason to believe Karasuma to be sincere.

Well, of course. He himself found it hard to believe at first, too. Since Yuiga doesn’t believe his words, is there anything he can do to prove it? Nothing comes up, besides what he already has done, and that went less than stellar.

Still, he tries, because he owes Yuiga that. And because he doesn’t want Yuiga to have that a low opinion of him.

“I do like you, even if I think you’re spoiled. I think it’d have been better for you to become a Border agent the usual way. I still want us to go try new things together. Do you think I’d still be planning things with you if I didn’t actually like being with you? You’re right, I have to work all the time, so why should I spend the little time I have with you if I don’t like you?”

By the end of it he can hear the edge of frustration in his own voice. It’s probably the longest thing he’s ever said to him. Yuiga is responsible for at least eighty percent of their conversations, usually.

“I wouldn’t do all that just to make fun of someone. How lowly do you think of me?” He sighs, suddenly tired. “Are our plans still on?”

Yuiga doesn’t answer. 

“Okay,” he says.


	2. Chapter 2

It would be an understatement to say that Yuiga was blindsided by all this. To start with, Yuiga doesn’t actually have so many friends. There are a few people of a similar age-group from other wealthy families that he grew up with, but he hasn’t actually seen most of them in a while. They are all busy, so it’s alright. In Border he has teammates—occasionally cruel teammates—and coworkers.

He had said the same about Karasuma when people asked, but afterwards he had started to think about it. They were hanging out quite a bit outside of work. And they texted sometimes—regularly even, even if it mostly was to plan their next outing. Maybe that made them friends. He would have asked Izumi, if he didn’t think Izumi would just laugh at him rather than answering the question.

Karasuma hadn’t thought that, apparently. If you believed him, it was because he liked Yuiga. Of course, you usually couldn’t believe him.

He had been lying a lot less recently, Yuiga reminded himself. But maybe he’d just been working himself up to this. Lulling him into a false sense of security. It sounded like something Karasuma would do. 

“...Is this a bad time?” Mikumo asks. Rudely enough, he’s looking down on Yuiga. Not appropriate for the apprentice, even if Yuiga’s lying face down on the couch.

“It’s the perfect time!” Yuiga answers defiantly, and drags himself to his feet.

When Izumi had told him Mikumo was coming to train with him earlier Yuiga had immediately concluded that it was a Tamakoma conspiracy. He can’t let Mikumo see that this incident has affected him. Yuiga makes a point of not mentioning Karasuma at all on the way to the training room. Not that he’s been talking about Karasuma before. Well, maybe sometimes, but only a little!

The score is overwhelmingly in Yuiga’s favor when the days twenty matches are over. And anyway, Mikumo’s few wins are only proof that Yuiga’s teachings are paying off.

“Thank you for your time”, Mikumo says. Yuiga entertains the thought that Mikumo is unconnected to Karasuma’s scheming after all. Mikumo is tricky with his wires, true, but not so much outside battle. Even his looks are plain!

“No matter,” Yuiga says gracefully. “I’m just happy to help.”

Mikumo scratches the side of his face, looking uncomfortable. It’s common look for him, so Yuiga isn’t prepared for anything out of the ordinary. “How do you and Karasuma-senpai know each other?” is the question that comes out of his mouth. 

And just like that Yuiga’s good mood vanishes in a puff of smoke. ”There’s--! There’s no reason we wouldn’t hang out! We’re both members of Border, after all!”

“I was just surprised that you came with him to Tamakoma”, the scheming traitor says, his hands raised in a placating gesture. 

“Izumi-senpai was there too!”

“He was,” Mikumo agrees nervously (as he should be). “I just meant…”

Yuiga knows what he meant. It’s not surprising for Izumi to hang out with Karasuma. They are friends. They make sense as friends.

Yuiga and Karasuma don’t. Well, he has already figured that out on his own, thank you very much. 

“I was just assessing a rival faction.” Yuiga flips his hair. “If it can even be called that. The state of Tamakoma’s headquarters would be embarrassing for a clubhouse, much less an organization of Border’s importance. I understand why you have to come here to train, Mikumo.”

“…I see”, Mikumo says, which is all the agreement Yuiga needs. 

Izumi sits down next to him on the couch. “Look, Yuiga,” he starts. At this point Yuiga already knows that something is wrong, because Izumi is never this friendly. He tries moving away. That’s all it takes for Izumi to reach the end of his patience.

“Get a fucking grip!”

Yuiga freezes in place, but gets very little about what’s going on. There’s a very deep sigh as Izumi tries to collect himself. “Okay,” he mumbles. “Okay…” It takes about a minute before he manages to continue, but he does so in a reasonably calm voice.

“Look,” he says again, “Kyousuke can be kind of an asshole, okay? But he’s not total scum. What he said when he was last here was the truth. And he’s feeling like shit now, too, so he’s already gotten his punishment, or whatever.”

Izumi and Karasuma are the ones who are friends; Yuiga reminds himself. Still, for Izumi to actually bother reassure him… Yuiga can’t dismiss it so easily.

“He’s talked to you about it, Izumi-senpai?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“He’s really feeling bad about it?”

Izumi heaves a sigh. “He might not be as dramatic as you, but don’t go around thinking that means that he doesn’t give a shit. Cheer up, for fucks sake. Aren’t you the one who turned him down?”

Izumi lifts a hand to cut Yuiga’s following sputtering short. “Yeah, whatever. That’s as much wisdom you’re getting out of me today.”

Still, Izumi pauses after rising and looks down at him. “So did you really go out with him just to feel superior?”

When Yuiga just blinks at him in confusion he continues. “Kyousuke told me he thought you were hanging out with him to make yourself feel superior to him.”

“That’s…” Yuiga stops when he realizes that he has no idea how to finish that sentence.

Izumi throws up his hands and leaves without another word. Yuiga just sits there for a while. 

What does that mean? Was the confession just a revenge ploy? A lot of the things Karasuma had said during the confession hadn’t exactly been complimentary either. But Izumi thought the confession was true, and while Izumi could be mean, he didn’t lie.

Yuiga groans, sinking deeper into the couch. Why was this so confusing? Why did Karasuma have to make things so weird? Yuiga wanted to go back to how things were before. There was an opera show tonight that he had bought two tickets for before the visit to Tamakoma, and now he didn’t even want to go himself. What was the point without Karasuma’s dry commentary?

Was it too late to change his mind? To tell Karasuma their plans were still on? If Karasuma just had been lying all along, then Izumi would just had said “He’s happy to finally be rid of you, idiot”, without hesitation. And Izumi and Karasuma were friends, so Izumi should know. But maybe Izumi agreed to go along with the lies because they were friends?

“Argh!” Yuiga hits the couch and collapses forward over the table. This sucks. If only he could borrow Kageura’s Side Effect for a day, and then he’d know for certain.

When he finally looked up from the table he found Tachikawa sitting in the opposite couch. “Oh, so you are done now?” he asks, cheerfully uninterested as always. 

“H-how long have you been there?”

“Since a while ago.”

Yuiga starts a list. It’s called “ ~~Is Karasuma Kyousuke in love with~~ Does Karasuma Kyousuke have romantic feelings for me? Reasons for and against”. The first item on the “for” side of the list is easy to write.

For, reason one: Karasuma claims he has romantic feelings for me.

Then he adds, just as quickly:

Against, reason one: Karasuma is a liar whose words cannot be trusted.

It’s easy to continue on the “against” side.

Against, reason two: Karasuma thinks I’m spoiled and not worthy of being A-rank.

That was one thing Yuiga was sure that Karasuma wasn’t lying about. 

Against, reason three: Izumi-sempai said that Karasuma thought I only hung out with him to feel superior to him.

It should be a reason against. It works as a motive. Of course, it doesn’t explain why Karasuma started hanging out with him to start with. Yuiga frowns at the list, and hesitates before adding the next item.

For, reason two: Karasuma kissed me.

That’s a step further than a lie. Probably. No, it _definitely_ is. Karasuma lies, yes, but in a detached way. He riles other people up, but stays calm himself. That time— Yuiga only remembers him suddenly being very, very close. And then, “I’m sorry”.

Sorry for what? Had he regretted the charade at the very end? But why continue it afterwards, then? It didn’t make any _sense_. 

But then, that would mean—no, he can’t believe that. Can he? But the other explanation isn’t holding up. 

It had been dark and chilly, but Yuiga hadn’t minded when they exited Tamakoma. It was only when he left Karasuma behind that the surrounding had started to seem unfriendly. He had started running without taking noticing, but he soon had to stop to catch his breath, a stitch in his side and a pain in his throat spreading down into the upper part of his chest. No longer cold; instead it was as if his entire body was on fire.

He could no longer remember what Karasuma had looked like at the time, what expression he had been wearing. Had he closed his eyes? He only had the vaguest memory of the kiss itself. What he remembered was how close Karasuma had been, radiating heat in the cold. He had never been as aware of how tall Karasuma was as he had been then.

It was really unfair. Why did he get to be tall too, on top of everything else?

Yuiga looks down on the list. If only he could trust what Karasuma had said – but that wouldn’t be okay either, would it? You couldn’t just hang out as friends with someone who liked you. Could you?

But even so… 

Even so…

Even so, Yuiga _wants_ Karasuma to be in love with him.

Yuiga starts at the thought. Of course, if things weren’t the way he had thought, it was better if Karasuma liked him more than he thought rather than he disliked him. And this way, he wouldn’t have had any malicious intent. Still, Yuiga’s face is burning. What a thing to think about someone!

It was Karasuma’s fault for making things so weird, so that this was the only good option, that was all! 

Izumi words from the day before resurfaces in Yuiga’s mind. Maybe it does make him feel superior. All the times Yuiga brought Karasuma to something he had never tried before, he had certainly enjoyed the feeling that Karasuma was out of his element. Not that he had particularly shown it, except for some hesitation, like the time—

Like the time Yuiga had him change. Right in front of him. 

_What did I— What did I do?!_

How could he have done that? But he hadn’t known that Karasuma was gay then. Normally it would have been fine! There wasn’t anything weird in two work-associates going out to dinner together! Karasuma hadn’t thought _Yuiga_ was gay, had he? 

The kiss and confession as an elaborate prank made a lot more sense if that was the case. Something lodges itself in Yuiga’s throat, and his next breaths come out shaky. This was why he wanted it to be real. The only other option is Karasuma looking down on him and intentionally trying to hurt him, and if Yuiga’s feelings aren’t 100% pure, they’re at least better than that. It’s the only reason. 

Or almost the only reason. 

It’s just… girls like Karasuma. He’s tall, and he’s handsome, and he’s strong. He never gets worked up, instead just moves through the world with effortless cool. Anyone would want to be liked by someone like that. It would mean… It would mean a lot, even if Yuiga’s not sure what it would be a lot of. 

The thought, when he lets himself think it, leaves him feeling almost nauseous, like when you were standing on top of the highest trampoline at the pool when you were a kid (not that Yuiga had tried that recently or anything, but if he had he’s certain that he would be entirely calm now that he’s grown up.) It’s not an entirely pleasant feeling, but compared to when he convinces himself that’s it’s all a lie it’s a lot better. _That_ feeling is queasiness paired with a weight over his chest, and he’s utter sick of feeling it. 

At last, Yuiga makes a decision. It’s not very well thought out, considering how long he has been worrying about this, but it is a decision. He can’t go on like this. And if he can’t trust what Karasuma says, then he needs to test him.

The details of how he’s going to do that he can work out on the way. First he has to find Karasuma. That’s the first challenge, what with Karasuma’s thousands of part-time jobs with irregular schedules. He could ask Izumi, but he as he doesn’t know how involved Izumi is he’d rather avoid having to do that. The next and only other option is Mikumo. Honestly Yuiga doubts his usefulness, but he sends a message anyway. They only exchanged numbers for training, and this is the first time any of them has contacted the other outside of that. But it is an emergency and Mikumo owes him for being his mentor.

Not only does Mikumo fail to answer, what he sends back is another question, wondering what Yuiga wants Karasuma for. There’s no way that Yuiga can answer that, so he just stresses that it’s Very Important.

Eventually Mikumo tells him that he expects that Karasuma will show up at Tamakoma in the evening. It’s not the answer Yuiga wanted to hear, considering what transpired last time they met at that location. Yuiga grits his teeth, and strides off through the headquarters’ corridors.

It’s when he gets out of the car and looks up at Tamakoma’s headquarters that he starts hesitating again. He can’t very well just go in. He doesn’t know these people, and it’s their territory. And whatever happens with Karasuma, he’d prefer not to have an audience for it.

“Yuiga?” 

What was left of Yuiga’s decisiveness falls to pieces. He turns around, slowly, to find Karasuma, having stopped just on the other side of the road. He’s wearing the ugly jacket Yuiga hates, with a bag hanging of his shoulder. As ever, Yuiga can’t read him. 

Yuiga is frozen in place as he approaches. “How come you are here?” Karasuma asks.

“I can be here if I want to be!”, Yuiga answers, trying to ignore how the first word caught in his throat. He’s entirely correct, anyway.

“Sure”, Karasuma agrees, too readily. It’s suspicious. “But you’re usually not. I think last time you said this building was an embarrassment to Border?”

Yuiga may or may not have said that—and if he did he was correct about that too—but that’s not what he’s here to talk about. “I’m here to find you”, he grinds out. He hadn’t meant to say that. He had meant to do something smooth and subtle, not… this.

It does earn him an alarmed look from Karasuma. Well, his eyes widen a tiny bit. From Karasuma, that should count for alarmed.

“Okay. Do you want to go in?” Karasuma gestures towards Tamakoma.

“No,” Yuiga blurts out.

They both pause, uncertain of what to do next. Yuiga is starting to regret not accepting Tamakoma. There’s not a lot of good options around here from what Yuiga can see. 

“Do you want to go somewhere to eat?,” Karasuma asks reluctantly. Yuiga has no better suggestion, and it is dinnertime. "We'd have to take your car, though."

"Let's do that", Yuiga says. He's trying for authorative but has an increasing feeling that the situation is spinning out of his control. At least Karasuma follows him into the car. Neither of them speak on the way there. Yuiga never sees what Karasuma orders for them both and sits down at an obscured corner table. 

“Now, what did you want to say?” Karasuma is playing with a napkin, which strikes Yuiga as unusual. Karasuma has generally good manners, when he’s not being mean. But he doesn’t have time to focus on that, because Karasuma’s gaze is not focused on his hands, but on Yuiga.

And Yuiga’s mind is completely blank.

“How have you been?” he finds himself saying, sounding vaguely strangled. He wishes he was strangled, so he would have an excuse to not say anything, certainly not anything this stupid.

“…I’ve been better,” Karasuma answers eventually. After another pause, he adds: “You?”

“Awful”, Yuiga answers. He hadn’t meant to say that. He had meant to play things cool, to pretend to have gotten over this. Instead he had answered reflexively and entirely truthfully.

It seems to Yuiga that this conversation is just one long awkward silence, only occasionally broken up by a few words by either of them. Karasuma, at least, takes his turn.

“Because of me?”

Yuiga bites his lip, but finds himself nodding. Karasuma sighs. “I am sorry, but I’ve already told you that. At this point I’m not sure what you want from me.”

“I want you to kiss me again.” Yuiga’s voice does absolutely not waver on that sentence, he’s just talking softly because he doesn’t want to be overheard. It’s a normal precaution to take, even if the other guests are sitting several tables away.

He hadn’t imagined saying those words out loud a minute ago, but as soon as they appeared he realized that it’s probably the only way. There’s something he can’t put together about this, but if he could only remember what Karasuma had looked like then, things would fall into place. And if he refuses, that will tell him something important too. Still, he’s not feeling a 100% confident about it. But it was in fact a good idea.

Because Karasuma chokes. He’s not eating or drinking anything, and he still manages to choke. As he coughs into the mangled tissue he’s been holding, satisfaction spreads like warmth in Yuiga’s insides. 

“You can’t be serious”, Karasuma says, when he’s capable of speaking again.

“Why not?” Yuiga answers, irritated. “You’ve already done it once, so don’t go complaining now!”

“Yes, I did, and then _you cried_. So maybe it’s a bad idea to repeat that.” Karasuma’s voice is rising, which takes Yuiga aback.

“I did not cry,” he answers, because he certainly didn’t. It’s pure slander. 

They are at an impasse again, but the atmosphere is strangely charged now.

Until Karasuma sighs again, and leans back in the chair. He visibly makes himself relax. “Where is this coming from?”

“Why are you refusing?” Yuiga asks instead of answering. He crosses his arms, and draws up to his full height. When sitting the difference between them is not so pronounced. “Because you never really wanted to?”

“So this is—this is a test?” 

Yuiga waits him out. 

“Fine.” And then Karasuma is standing up, putting his jacket on again. “Come on then.”

“The food—“, Yuiga starts, but Karasuma interrupts him. 

“Who cares about the food.” The tone is short, and Karasuma looks as close to angry as Yuiga has ever seen him. Maybe that’s exactly what angry looks like on him. The satisfaction from before has evaporated. This might have been a mistake after all.

When they get outside Karasuma tugs Yuiga into a nearby alley, which, while it’s not as dark and gross as some in the movies, still is a little alarming. Karasuma’s grip on his wrist isn’t so tight that he couldn’t wrench it free, but Yuiga allows himself to be moved. They stop after one more turn, so that even the pretty sparsely populated street is obscured. This place would make an alarmingly good murder scene. Not that Karasuma is quite _that_ mad. Yuiga is pretty sure.

Karasuma turns around without letting go of Yuiga’s wrist. There is a shine to his eyes that Yuiga has never seen before, and it makes Yuiga’s heart jump up in his throat. 

“You asked”, Karasuma says, and then his other hand is on Yuiga’s face, and then he’s kissing him. Yuiga may only remember the broad strokes of the time Karasuma kissed him outside Tamakoma, but he remembers it being light. It took him a moment to understand what was happening, and by then it was over.

This is different.

It’s insistent, and Karasuma is pressing close. He’s so, so warm. Yuiga feels feverish.

When Karasuma takes a step back, Yuiga finds himself holding himself up against the wall. “See?” Karasuma says. His voice is rough. “You’re crying again.” He brushes a knuckle against Yuiga’s lower lashes and it comes away wet. Yuiga wants to protest, but his breath is catching in his throat. His head is spinning. 

But Karasuma is flushed too, his breathing heavy. 

And one thought is crystallizing inside Yuiga’s head. 

It worked. 

The test worked.

“…You do like me.”

Karasuma blushes scarlet. It’s more shocking than anything else that’s happened so far. He takes a step back, and the air is cool in his absence. Yuiga takes a deep breath, finally feeling like the ground under him is firm again. 

“Are you done?” Karasuma asks, just a little softer than usual. He has gotten his features back under control, but the blush is still there. “We’re even now.”

And now… And now what? It occurs to Yuiga that he failed to plan for what he would do once he had the answer. He had been prepared to avoid Karasuma for the rest of his life if it would have been the opposite outcome, but now?

“…Are you still angry?” Yuiga asks, because he doesn’t really know what Karasuma is talking about. The sense of peace that briefly appeared is getting encroached by tendrils of doubt, so he falls back on bluster. “You agreed to it!”

Karasuma sighs. He’s been doing it a lot today, Yuiga notes uneasily. “You really don’t get it”, he says, very evenly. “Have you ever considered what I’m feeling about this? Do you think anyone would enjoy getting rejected by their crush, and then being asked to kiss them to prove their feelings were real? I know I hurt you, so I tried to be honest, but apparently you didn’t care at all if your little test hurt _me_.” His voice has grown sharp while he was speaking, but he softens it again. “So yes, I’m still angry about it.” 

This is not supposed to happen. Yuiga is supposed to be the wronged party. There’s something he’s supposed to do, but he has no idea of what it is. The uncertainty is paralyzing. 

“I guess we’re done here,” Karasuma says.

Before he can walk away, Yuiga grabs on to his arm. It’s a reversal of how they got here. Yuiga still doesn’t have a plan, but he’s certain that he can’t let Karasuma walk away like this.

“Wait,” he says, unnecessarily. 

“Hasn’t this gone on for long enough? Everything about this is a disaster, and we both just end up miserable. Isn’t it time we ended this?”

Every word coming out of Karasuma’s mouth is correct. The last two weeks Yuiga has wished away all the negativity he’s been feeling so many times he has no chance of counting them. However, he has never once wished that he never invited Karasuma out to that restaurant. And maybe what they had before is all the good that’s ever going to come out of this. Maybe they have already ruined it. But—

“I don’t want to.” Yuiga hates the whine in his voice.

“God, you’re so spoiled”, Karasuma says, without any heat. Yuiga blushes. “So, then what? We go back to how things we’re before? We pretend like this—“ Karasuma gestures around them with his free hand, maybe indicating how close they were standing, maybe meaning everything that happened in this alleyway—“never happened? You think that will work?”

It’s Karasuma’s dismissiveness that drives Yuiga to contradict him rather than any strongly held conviction. “Why not? It was working fine before!”

“Until it didn’t, meaning that it didn’t.” Karasuma closes his eyes for a brief moment, fortifying himself. “Look, I can promise you that I won’t ever kiss you again. And I won’t touch you either. I was acting like a mess for a while there, but I’ve figured things out now. So you don’t need to worry about that.”

At this point Yuiga is pretty sure he should be feeling relieved. He doesn’t. 

Karasuma is still not done. “That said, I don’t think us hanging out will be anything but hideously awkward, and it’ll be easier for me to get over this if we’re apart for a while. It’s not that I plan to avoid you or anything, but I don’t think we should hang out alone together.”

This is not how this was supposed to go. It’s not _surprising_ ; Yuiga’s watched movies where this happens, but Karasuma liking him is supposed to be the good outcome. What’s the point if the endpoint is the same as the bad outcome? Should he just wait until Karasuma doesn’t feel anything for him and then things would be okay? The dark feeling in his chest is growing stronger. He doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like this _at all_.

And why does Karasuma think he wants reassurances that he’s never going to kiss him again? Did it look like he disliked it? It’s obviously fine! Why would anyone want a promise like that from _Karasuma?_ Literally nothing of what he just said is appealing: Yuiga wants to be with him, wants him to continue liking him and he wants Karasuma to kiss him again—

Oh.

Oh, no.

This can’t be…

“Yuiga?”

Embarrassing! So embarrassing!

Yuiga sinks to the ground, covering his burning face. How can this be happening? 

“Are you all right?” 

Yuiga peeks out through his fingers, sees Karasuma crouching before him and immediately has to look away.

“No!” And maybe it comes out as a wail, but he is in serious distress right now, so it can’t really be helped!

“Is—Is it anything I did?” Yuiga wishes he could enjoy how uncertain Karasuma sounds. It happens so rarely, but now Yuiga is too preoccupied by the fact that apparently he has already managed to turn down the person he likes.

Because _apparently_ he also likes Karasuma. How could this utter disaster be happening? To be sure, Yuiga hasn’t really liked anyone since he had a crush when he was twelve, so it’s actually perfectly understandable that he didn’t pick up on it before now. But still, still, he wants to be wrong about it. But he wants to go out with Karasuma, as in date him, and _how else_ can he interpret that? Can he at least never have to admit just how badly he has managed to screw this up?

He rejected the person he likes! Because he didn’t notice that he liked him! No, wait… Isn’t this Karasuma’s fault for being an untrustworthy liar? That was why he rejected him, wasn’t it? It wasn’t Yuiga’s fault after all. 

He breathes a sigh of relief. Maybe he didn’t do this perfectly, but most of the blame should fall on Karasuma for making this so complicated. 

“Yuiga?” He looks up again, and has to look away just as quickly this time. _It’s Karasuma’s fault. It’s Karasuma’s fault._ Why doesn’t that make it easier?

“It’s your fault.” Yuiga isn’t sure that Karasuma can even hear him, as his words are muffled behind his hands.

“Yes, I know,” Karasuma says.

“No, you don’t.”

It’s too much to have Karasuma looking at him. He collapses forward, and almost sends both of them sprawling. Karasuma steadies them with a hand on the ground, and another around Yuiga’s shoulder.

“Yuiga”, Karasuma says again, this time warningly. 

“It’s alright if I do it, right?”

“That wasn’t what I meant.” Yuiga can feel him swallow. “I’m getting some pretty mixed signals here.”

The ugly jacket is surprisingly soft against his skin. Unconsciously he snuggles closer. “They’re not mixed.”

“Do you maybe want to elaborate on that?”

He does not. But if he doesn’t, then Karasuma’s going to walk away, and he’s going to stay away. He clears his throat. No words magically appear.

He tries anyway. “I think I might, perhaps, uh…” He clears his throat again. How had Karasuma managed it? Damn him, he had been so cool and collected, too. “IthinkImaybelikeyou.”

“Could you take that once more, a little slower?” 

“No!” But he takes a deep breath. “I! Like! You! Is that clear enough for you?”

Karasuma doesn’t say anything, which only makes Yuiga more nervous. He feels it first. It’s only a slight movement, but he can feel Karasuma shaking. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s laughing.

“Wh-what’s so funny?” Yuiga rears back. From that position he can see Karasuma’s face. It’s the first time he has ever seen Karasuma laugh, and in any other situation this would have been a momentous occasion. Now, however… “Stop it!”

Karasuma doesn’t stop. With Yuiga out of his arms he’s free to cover his face, but it’s clear from the continuous shaking that he’s not done yet. When he finally stops he takes a few more seconds to collect himself. There’s no hint of as much as a smile when he starts speaking. “Sorry,” is the first word out of his mouth. “It’s just been a real emotional roller-coaster.”

“You’re awful”, Yuiga says.

Karasuma tilts his head to the side and looks Yuiga straight in the eyes. “But you like me anyway?”

“I take it back!”

“No take-backs.”

“You can’t just—Just because you’re handsome doesn’t mean you can just bat your eyelashes and expect me to forgive you!”

Karasuma freezes. “…you say that so easily.”

“It’s just the truth!”

“That’s why it’s...”

Karasuma stands up and extends a hand to Yuiga. Yuiga takes it and lets him drag him to his feet. Even when both are standing neither of them lets go. For a while neither of them find any words.

Then, “It’s your turn”, Karasuma says. “For the cultural exchange. Well. I guess it’d just be a normal date, now.”

Yuiga blushes. “I had tickets… for an opera. They’ve expired already, but there should be a new show starting soon.”

“An opera? I look forward to it.”

“…You’ll just say it was strange again.”

“I’m sure it will be. But even so, you’ll be there with me. So, I look forward to it.” Yuiga’s blushing only intensifies.

Karasuma takes a half step back. He hasn’t released Yuiga’s hand yet, though. “We should go back in and see what happened to our food.”

“You said you didn’t care about it.”

“Sure, but that was before the I lived through the most emotional whiplash-inducing event of my life. I could use some fortification by now.”

“I could, too,” Yuiga admits. “But, it’s official, then?”

“Yes? We’ll go to the opera?”

“No! Not that.” Yuiga looks down at the ground. ”Are we.. together, now?”

“After all this, I certainly hope so.”, Karasuma says. After he short pause he amends. “Yes. Yes, we are.”

They make it back to the restaurant pretty soon after that. Pretty soon, but not immediately, because Yuiga has to kiss his new boyfriend first.

Izumi has grown sick and tired of having to deal with Yuiga’s bad mood. It’s not that he cares overly much about Yuiga’s feelings, but the only thing worse than an excited Yuiga is a depressed Yuiga, and Yuiga has been down in the dumps for _weeks_. He has been projecting such an aura of misery that Izumi finds himself sometimes actually pitying him, right up until he remembers that the only one making Yuiga miserable is Yuiga himself.

Not that Karasuma gets any gold stars for how he’s handled this, but if he’s staring into a corner while sighing approximately twice a minute, then at least he’s doing it somewhere Izumi can’t see or hear him. 

Izumi did not in any way ask for this. Did he find watching the them amusing at the beginning? Sure. But he did not in any way cause this, and he accepts absolutely no responsibility for what’s happened. 

Even so, it’s a bit disconcerting when Yuiga more or less skips into the squad room one day. For one, the contrast is very big. At first Izumi decides that he doesn’t want to know, but before the day is over Izumi finds that his curiosity has won out. He’s already heard too much about it to pretend to be uninvolved.

“Did something happen?” he asks, even as he’s sure he’ll regret it.

“How-how did you know?” Yuiga is somehow taken completely off guard by the question. Izumi can feel the beginning of a twitch in one eyelid. 

“You seem to be in a lot better mood today than you’ve been earlier,” Izumi says, summoning all the patience he has.

It takes some blushing and sputtering, but Izumi gets his answer. Well, it is an improvement, he’ll give them that. He absolutely doesn’t understand it, but at least no one is miserable any more. That’s all he has to say about it.

No wait, there’s one more thing. If there is a wedding, Izumi’s earned the position as best man. For both sides.

That is all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
